Life is repetition of choices.
The moment we start living, we pick up some
and discard the other.
The result of all choices I have made is “I”.
Whatever we do, we cannot avoid to make
choices, and cannot be neutral.
“Choices” are not
only social and conceptual (what jog I choose, and what kind of character I
play).
Standing with two legs as a process of
evolution is also human choice, and we Japanese losing the ability to
distinguish “R” and “L” is choice, too. We cannot be alive
without these choices literally.
Therefore, that we say something, that we
take certain form (have a body that have a specific shape), and even that we
exist are parts of our choices. In other words, they are removal or
directivity.
Any existence cannot see the world as it is.
That we live in this world means that we
categorize the world along with our own convenience, and do something based on
this categorization.
I want to question here.
What have I been doing?
There is a “life” we have already begun, and there is a “self” we have been playing in a very real way.
Earlier than I do something, I began to “do human” and “do Yuto
Matoba”.
My body presents the gross of what I have
been doing.
Anyway, let’s move my
body.
The moment I flex any parts of my body, one
choice and exclusion begin,
If I pay attention to some parts, the other
parts begin to exclaim.
“That’s not fare! Look
at me!”
I move and breathe while listening to them.
After this exercise, I feel refreshed,
relaxed and can see the world in a flat way.
However, even in this state, there is a
bunch of parts that I have overlooked.
Moreover, returning to daily life and doing
“Yuto Matoba”, playing a “university
student”, and behaving “masculine”, and doing
a “human”, I put myself huge number of bias.
After all, we can see the world only
through the lens we ourselves have made.
We, such existence, always face something
different.
Different culture, age, gender, species…
They categorize the world in a different
way from me and live based on the world image.
That’s why it is
possible to have a conflict.
I need to renew the question I made earlier:
What have I been discarding?
People, animals, plants, stuff around us,
and my body...
They are always sending signals to notify
us what we have forgotten.
Looking back choices I made, and being
aware of them.
Only after that, I can have a possibility
to relate to others who are incompatible to me.
Still, I can see the world only in a way I have
categorized, but there is a beauty in the fact that while we cannot understand each other completely, we can relate .
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